Medication isn't for everyone, but it works for Me.
When I was about 8 or 9, I developed a mental disorder called Trichotillomania. In a nutshell, it is an OCD hair pulling disorder. Naturally, at that age I had no idea what that meant and why I was struggling with it. I was officially diagnosed shortly thereafter and would go to therapy and execute a variety of behavioral methods to condition my perspective of it and how to stop.
As I've gotten older, I didn't realize that it is a long term chronic disorder. It's easier said than done. I went through school with a plethora of phases and time frames of bald spots in various areas of my body - my scalp, eye brows, eye lashes, and even my arms. It was not only embarrassing, but humiliating and uncomfortable as I would obviously look very awkward missing hair on my body that is supposed to be there. However, even though I had to succumb to feeling embarrassed in public because of how I looked, it was still very difficult to stop. I recall childhood friends and classmates that would try to help me stop when I'd zone out and pull my hair. I would always be grateful for those friends who attempted to help throughout the years.
In all honesty, I ended up becoming a somewhat negative person easily prone to depression and high anxiety. I eventually thought this was normal and the type of person I was supposed to be - it affected my friendships and relationships due to my lack of self worth and esteem.
By the time I was in college, I was doing fairly better and barely pulled out my hair. I was able to successfully continue for the next few years before I started working at my long term job after I graduated. Working in a fast paced, high tension environment (with a multitude of alpha personalities) triggered my disorder and I started pulling at my scalp again. It thankfully wasn't as obvious as it used to be when I was younger, and I was appreciative that even my boss and colleagues would interfere when I'd be struggling.
It basically took me to be a GROWN ASS ADULT in my late twenties to thoroughly understand my triggers and the cause of this disorder. I was recently in an unfortunately unhealthy relationship for the past few years that took a toll on my mental health - my self esteem declined and I discovered my bad habit of my disorder erupted, yet again.
About a year and a half ago, I decided to start doing more serious research about my mental disorder struggles and how I can be proactive and possibly, overall, bettering myself. I finally racked up the courage last year to see a doctor and talk to him/her about it. My doctor took the time to understand my lifestyle and ended up prescribing me medication. With an open mind, I decided to go for it and took his suggestion. I wish I made this decision years ago as the medication has been such a positive experience. My mental disorder is not eliminated (if only we could do that), but I am learning to accept what is a lifelong journey with it and how I can apply myself and move forward positively. Medication isn't for everyone, but doing your research to understand the root of why you are the way you are and doing something about it, is what matters. You just have to be brave enough to take that next step, instead of staying in a stagnant path that consists of toxic behavior and patterns that you're comfortable with.
Submitted by K.U.